Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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