4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
