can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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