i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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