They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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