Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A bitchslap is in order.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
