i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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