I wannas sexs uuuuu
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
