I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize