A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
