He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
