I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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