so that wasnt chicken after all
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
