FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
