I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
