its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
