I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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