May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
