On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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