she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
3 2 1 whiskey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
