This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My boob is missing a layer of skin
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
