Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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