Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
