it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
