I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
