Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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