Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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