So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
