The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
