I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i think i scared a bird with my dick
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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