Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
