Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize