I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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