Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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