i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
