a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
