whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
