Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
