We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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