would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
