I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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