Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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