garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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