I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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