They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
