If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
no. you can't hotbox the world.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
