dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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