Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
