She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
