just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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