i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize