about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
dude. I can hear the air.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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