There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
