They should really pass out barf bags in church
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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