either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
