drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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