just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
